My 2025
The year 2025 was anything but ordinary for me. It was the year with the most changes—and the biggest ones—I’ve experienced in recent years, most of them concentrated in the second half of the year. A promotion and salary raise, resignation, pregnancy, and my father being rushed into the emergency room… It’s hard to believe that all of this happened within just three months.
Looking back now, those months feel unreal, as if they belonged to another lifetime. Although everything happened only a few months ago, it feels much more distant. These experiences completely reshaped many of my long-held beliefs and forced me, at the age of thirty, to rethink my life and the way I want to live it.
At the beginning of the second half of the year, a sudden business adjustment at my company led to my transfer to a new position, along with a promotion. However, I struggled to adapt to the new role and felt overwhelmed by the responsibilities that came with it. Moving from a frontline position into management meant not only managing people, but also seeing the bigger picture and taking on greater responsibility. The abrupt change left me deeply anxious. Although my ability to learn quickly helped me grasp the basic tasks of the new role, the work itself was repetitive and mechanical. The awkward dynamics with older colleagues in the new department, combined with my uncertainty about management, gradually filled me with unease.
I didn’t want to be trapped in a job that required no real thinking, growth, or exploration—even if it was considered more “stable” than my previous role. Nor did I want to spend my career surrounded by endless complaints and trivial conversations. So, not long after, I chose to resign voluntarily. I have never regretted that decision. To me, the meaning of life lies in continuously challenging myself and learning new things. If a job offers no room for growth, I am willing to step out of that comfort zone and seek a new direction, even though I fully understand how unforgiving the job market can be for women in their thirties.
After resigning, I planned to look for a new job. About two weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. Pregnancy had been part of our plans, so this news brought great comfort to me and my family, especially during a period of unemployment. The joy of pregnancy also eased much of the emotional burden left by my previous job.
However, life has its own dramatic turns. In early October, my father suddenly felt unwell. Since I wasn’t working and was at home, I was able to take him to the hospital immediately. We initially thought it was a minor issue, as he had always been healthy and had never suffered from any serious illness. But the tension on the doctor’s face made my heart sink. Soon after, we were told that my father had acute heart disease and needed immediate surgery.
Holding the consent form in my hands, I stood frozen, not knowing what to do. When I finally managed to say, “Please proceed with the surgery immediately,” my mind went completely blank. The half hour spent waiting outside the operating room was the longest time of my life. I didn’t dare to think about anything, nor allow myself any negative thoughts. Only when the surgery was successfully completed did I slowly regain my senses.
My relationship with my father is complicated, and I will write more about it in future articles. But at that moment, all I wanted was for him to survive. After a month of recovery, his condition stabilized—though not completely, as lifelong medication is now unavoidable.
Today, I am dealing with various pregnancy-related discomforts. Yet in moments of calm, I find myself reflecting deeply on my life. If I hadn’t been at home when my father fell ill, I might not have even seen him one last time. Looking back, everything feels like the best possible arrangement—both a coincidence and a blessing.
For me, 2025 was a year filled with hardship, but also immense luck. Although I am still feeling uncertain about the future, I am slowly exploring a path that truly suits me. In the new year, I will relaunch my website and move forward with renewed clarity—living life on my own terms.
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